


Who You Really Are

by Ayolen



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Fem!Severus, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Marauders, Marauders In Love, Marauders love Snape and don't get it, Young Severus Snape, bodies swap, bullied, poor severus, potion accident
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-25
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2020-09-24 03:04:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 4,799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20351329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayolen/pseuds/Ayolen
Summary: In a potion accident, two students find themselves in each other's bodies.In the meantime, the Marauders are falling in love without realizing.And for the same person.





	1. Chapter 1

James was sure that his love for Lily was true love, that the first moment he saw her he immediately wanted to associate her only with himself forever and ever.

But now he realized it was just a stubborn crush at the time. For the past two weeks, the little crush has become something much bigger, so much so that compared to what it was at first, he didn't know what love was.

He could feel his heart pounding hard every time he thought of her, an amazing warmth developed in his chest when he saw her and indistinct nerve surgeons analyzed him when she did not respond to his teasing.

It was something new.

Something new developed inside him, it startled and excited him at the same time with strange adrenaline waves.

He missed what he had in the beginning. That is, the last five years. Before those two weeks happened. Everything was much simpler then. To flirt, to laugh, to draw her attention to himself... Everything was a game. Challenging, but so much simpler.

And still, compared to what was developing now, it was all so meaningless. He knew that what he was feeling now was a hundred times more complicated, but after experiencing it, with all the tangles of confusing emotions it led to, he would never return to the previous state. Not after experiencing the real thing.

He didn't know what it was. Could it be love? And why then does it feel more and more like he's sick..?

___

Sirius wasn't sure when it happened, or why. And if that ever happened... No, wait a minute. It did happen. To the other questions, he didn't have the answer.

Then it happened.

Lily Evans began to drive him mad. He didn't really know why, but it was nerve-wracking.

It was strange, because he had never really thought of her before. She was too marginal, just a distraction in his school life. She was beautiful, sure, but there were many beautiful girls he could conquer, even without enticing James's girl.

He quite liked watching his good friend interact with his dream girl, it was funny. And he liked to think with horns about ways to draw attention from the redhead who plays hard to get.

Although, he liked to stretch tensions and pranks on Snivelly, the girl was ridiculously ridiculous! But nonetheless, he also supported James, in hindsight, it was clear why his friend hated Snape. But why did Sirius hate her? Well, she was just an unbearable and annoying girl with that condescending look on her face and the cold mockery that Sirius felt it his duty to mourn her school life.

Anyway, Evans has never been the center of his attention.

But lately something has been different about her. She was so annoying, not at something specific, but in general! For a few days now he couldn't think of anything but how annoying this girl was! Even the supernatural treatment of the Snivellin was not interesting enough.

This girl has changed, she is also more grumpy. And even though most of the time when he tried to make remarks about her, she ignored him — something that drove him crazy — the few answers she served to him were poignant and annoying! No girl had the right to talk to him like that and he just wanted to growl in nerves!

Stupid girl!

Sirius narrowed his eyes and looked at the Marauders Map again.

It seems she's hanging out with the Slytherin snake too much. Intolerable.

Doesn't she dare get any closer to Sirius. He can't stand it!

The gray eyes found the tiny name on the map. Oh, here she is, in the potion class. What is she doing there alone without Snivelly?

Sirius leapt out of the room, leaving the tablecloth on the bed.

He had to clarify the situation for a certain redhead girl.

___

Remus looked away as soon as the green eyes met his eyes. He turned his attention back to the notes in his hands and tried not to look at Lily again.

But he couldn't concentrate on the text. His head beats thoughts on the Gryffindor.

Something was wrong.

He was the first to notice that she behaved differently. James and Sirius, of course, saw this too, but the realization of it hit them just two days ago.

Lily and Snape have become more crowded in recent days and have generally tried to avoid anyone else. And while the behavior matched the Slytherin, it wasn't very typical to Lily.

Mostly Remus saw them in the library, they were working on some project and looked pretty absorbed and frustrated.

There was something beyond this.

Increasingly, he got the feeling that whatever it was, was pretty severe.

Lily had been nervous the last two weeks, and while it was natural, there was something wrong here.

She did not hesitate to talk coolly to all the members of their home, but the looks and ridicule she addressed to the marauders were the worst. She always hated James's pranks and constant flirtation, but it was exaggerated.

But there was something else.

Remus could smell and sense with a animal instinct that something was wrong here. He wish his wolf abilities were more effective and able to pinpoint what exactly, but he had to deal with what was there.

Remus carefully looked up to see the two girls whispering quietly between them again.

He frowned. He felt unscrupulous that he was looking after them, but could not stop.

He tried to have some random conversations with her, he had done so in the past and that was fine, but the only response he was getting now was a deadly look and spray of venomous words.

It was... interesting. It attracted him for some reason.

Lily Evans had changed, it was arguable. But that wasn't a bad thing. No. It was intriguing.

And Remus did not find himself having the strength to stop following her.

___

Lily Evans walked into the library and took a quick look at the room.

In the far corner, Lupin was sitting, she ignoring him and walked to the side table where her friend was sitting.

"I can't anymore, Lily." The girl whispered and confidently held her book bag in the empty place.

The other girl looked up, her dark eyes slightly softening. "I know. It's not easy for me either. Though, I'm getting along better than I thought."

Lily moaned and ran her hand over her face. "I don't know how you got along with these boys."

Severin rise a black eyebrow, "Boys? As far as I remember, it was only Potter."

Lily scowled, "And Black and Lupin. They won't leave me alone." She made a small movement of her head towards the boy in the corner, "I loathe them. Why even now are they still treating me?"

Severin looked at her in confusion.

"You mean it wasn't like that before..?" Lily dared to ask after a moment.

The dark haired girl shook her head slightly, causing the redhead to tragically moan.

"Great. That's exactly what I needed."

She threw her head at the table in frustration.

Severin looked at her sympathetically and placed a hand on her shoulder, "Come on, Sev, we will find a way to fix this."

Lily just murmured in response.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I can't believe it. I have so many fanfics to continue, and instead I'm writing a new one ><"


	2. Chapter 2

Lily lied.

She was far from peaceful in Slytherin.

This house, so cool and indifferent on the outside, seems to be bustling with life and activity below the surface.

Everyone was determined to advance their goals only.

No, it wasn't that they were kind of selfish robots, they certainly stood for their friends as well. But there was nothing to Gryffindor's qualities, to stand up for anyone in their house, to challenge anyone and to defy...

No. Slytherin had a different principle. And as it turned out, everyone there had their own group of friends.

And as Lily knew, Severin was far from being accepted in any social circle.

She really didn't know how Severin survives. Lucky the girl was so anti-socialist, and still, it was a very lonely existence.

Lonely... well, not exactly.

But it would be better to have been absolutely alone, rather than the alternative.

In the past two weeks, Lily heard so many slander and insults, beyond the vocabulary she knew. The students were definitely creative.

Between the insect eyes, spider legs, until she compares her hair to the sewer.

And that was the good part.

But, oh hell, Severin really didn't get a break, did she?

Lily realized this, especially after a humiliating bullying case directed at her by two students, dragging an evening of laughter at her expense from across the common room.

And those were the people who were supposed to be her house.

Everyone else was worse.

She had only one consolation, the Marauders seemed to have lost their interesting in her. It's mean, in the first week she was definitely caught up in some vicious stretches, but for some reason they seemed to have lost their interest very quickly. She might have thought it was because Potter liked her and felt her aura or recognized the form of behavior, but they just stopped looking for her to harass. Um, most often.

Plus, Potter and Black were too stupid to understand anything.

Maybe they felt it was not their usual familiar "Snivellin".

Lily exhaled furiously, she couldn't believe how shocking this cursed Potter was. And he asked her out time and time again!

Speaking of the idiot, he still kept following her. Well, after Severin in Lily's body.

She noticed him flirting several times, and smirked, Severin's reactions were even less patient than hers. Once, she even noticed, the girl raged furiously on his face.

He deserved it. But he just kept following her like a puppy in love.

It made her think.

Doesn't Potter even notice any other behavior..? She knew his flirtation wasn't a true love, but still, she felt an unpleasant pinch in her heart.

Was what made him follow her was just her look?

And so Lily found herself a little project. She decided to look at how the changes in appearance could have affected her good friend.

She was angry about it. Why people so shallow? Why do they focus on flattening things like a areappearance, without knowing the person inside? And more than that, it is not something under anyone's control whether one is beautiful or not. How can expect from Severin to look like a normal girl after the life she went through? Lily didn't know a more about what Severin's going through, but with her poverty in her home and the constant battles at Hogwarts, how could a girl maintain a respectable performance?

After a thorough bath and taking care of her teeth, Lily looked in the mirror.

Severin was certainly frighteningly thin, but her features were not bad. Her hair definitely looked better, though, probably need a few more thorough rinses to get on her shoulders best, or maybe a potion would be more effective at this point...

She wondered whether to apply any makeup on her face. Severin would certainly not like it, but it is surprising how much it attracts people's eyes... no. It is not at this stage, perhaps later, she doesn't need to make such a drastic change at the beginning...

Her teeth and... She touched her nose carefully, feeling the slight hump in both places where she had previously broken.

Um...

She certainly should to go to see Madame Pomfrey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hey, guys.  
Yes, I know it's been a long time, but I'm really lazy. Plus this story is not at the top of the stories I most want to update, Sorry if anyone is disappointed with that ><" 
> 
> (P.S I know there are mistakes and everything, but that's because I write in another language and then translate into English with Google Translate.)
> 
> Honestly, I really don't know what to do next with this story, so if you have any requests for interactions, situations, times, or any suggestions, I'd love to hear.


	3. Chapter 3

היי, חבר'ה. 

סליחה, זה לא פרק. אבל אני מציירת מעריץ לאוהד הזה, ורציתי להראות לך. 

אני חייב לומר שלמעשה זה לא כפי שאני מדמיין את זה, אבל טוב לכישורים שלי לא אכפת XD


	4. Chapter 4

Something was really wrong with Lily.

Remus knew this clearly.

He has been following her behavioral patterns lately, her mood seems to be sour almost all the time. She hardly spoke to anyone at their house and hardly responded that her good friends were offended.

At past, she was almost always surrounded by several companies. She was such a sociable girl, it certainly didn't make sense that in such a short time, she turned 180 degrees and became such a introvert and anti-socialist girl...

No. Something was definitely strange.

The problem was that Remus didn't understand why. Why?

Why did Lily start neglecting her performance? She was still a pretty girl, but she didn't seem to bother to even give a short comb to the caravan in the morning.

She's never been a girl who puts too much makeup on, but now she seems careful not to even touch it...

She looked much less glamorous, less eye-catching to everyone around, more blended into the background... well, as much as possible with bright, long red hair.

But beyond that, Remus actually found her new appearance more attractive.

Redness crept to his face whenever the thought arose, but it was inevitable.

He liked that position. He liked to see a girl who stopped attaching importance to the outward appearance that would attract attention. He liked to see that she cared more about what was on the inside than what seemed outward.

That was his weak point.

As much as he hated the fact, he was a monster. He was a monster every month. He was so scared of what people think of his situation. He was afraid he would never be accepted, never find a man he would not matter... and then the marauders discovered. They were such good friends, they supported him, helped him, stayed with him where others would run away... he was so afraid of losing it. He hated the tension they made, they went too far so often, but he couldn't resist.

There was times, he himself did not understand how he came to Gryffindor.

But he didn't understand more and more lately, and unfortunately, he had no way of changing it.

But lately, thinking more and more about it, he realized that Lily's opinion important to him. Almost as important as his friends' opinions.

He wasn't blind, he knew he liked her. The problem was that that was Lily. The girl James fell in love with from the first year.

He could like someone else, he didn't have to fight with James for the right to try his luck with her... he could. but no. He's just not. He likes her.

And for the first time he began to think he might have had a chance with her.

It was such a disgraceful situation. Confusing. He didn't know how he could overcome...

He kept the thought away and hoped he would develop affection for another girl.

But in the end he knew. He will have to choose.

And then it would hurt James, or his own feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello people, I know this is a short chapter, but I'm really at a loss as to what to do next... If you have any requests of who you want to see in the next chapter and the like, I'd love to hear from you.


	5. Chapter 5

"Severin?" Regulus Black approached the corner where Lily was doing her homework.

The girl looked up at the tall figure. Regulus resembled Sirius, though his facial features were slightly softer and he was less muscular. But still he was certainly no less handsome.

Lily nodded slightly as the young Black took the seat next to her. The boy looked at her quietly, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Yes?" So far she hadn't spoken to him, and Lily wasn't sure if they were both by first names or not. Regulus called her by her first name, but on Severin's side she could certainly have called him only by the family name. It was typical of her.

"I was wondering..." The boy looked everywhere but at her. Lily frowned. What could he want from her? Her body froze as she thought of the logical answer. Could he have wanted to raise her to death eaters? Everything was quiet and secret, which is why everyone knew about it. Her voice was frozen as she asked firmly, "If you have something to say, say it already."

Regulus's surprised look made her doubt. For a moment she regretted not being more careful, but Severin was always aggressive, what was that uncharacteristic reaction?

"Just..." Regulus bit his lip and looked sideways, "Do you want to go with me on the next trip to Hogsmeade?" Slip quickly.

For a long time, Lily blinked stupidly as the boy's quick speech clicked in her mind.

"Do you want to date me..?" She asked slowly.

Regulus rubbed his neck awkwardly and nodded, his eyes not meeting her and his face burning red.

It was strange news. Sirius's brother was in love with her best friend? Did Severin know this? No. She was a genius, but she was so zero in understanding social behavior and relationships.

Well, this is probably an opportunity to fix that.

Lily put a sweet smile on her lips, "Sure, why not?"

"Really?" Regulus looked up and met her gaze in hope. Lily noticed that his eyes were beautiful gray and the boy himself was particularly handsome. The Blak family certainly made their mark in the genes they inherited. He would be a good match for Severin.

Lily nodded slightly and stifled a giggle at the look of happiness that came over her handsome face.

"I'll pick you up at the gates." Regulus set out and hurried away, like fearing of changing her mind if time was given to her.

Well, she just needs to tell Severin that plans for the upcoming Saturday have changed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, that's super short, I know. I'm sorry, I just don't sure what to do. I have so much fics and artworks and don't know what to do first (so I just lie on the sofa and don't do anything q-q)
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it anyway!


	6. Chapter 6

There was a loud argument in the dormitory.

It started with Sirius complaining that Evans had become unbearable. All because she was walking around with the annoying Snivllin and clinging to her slytherin features.

James, for his part, certainly did not intend to listen to this, and responding to it that Lily as more amazing than ever, and her new stubborn stance certainly suited her. Plus, Sirius is supposed to know that the Slytherining don't stick. If she sorted to Gryffindor, just like him, she would be a Gryffindor.

Sirius exhaled nervously. "Even if she doesn't got infected, she's unbearable! I say we'll play a prank on her, remind her her place!"

James stood up. "Not a chance!" Grunted, his eyes shooting spikes. "My Lily is perfect. Do you want to play a prank? Play on Snivelly!"

"She's not even your girlfriend. Wake up, James!"

"You did not say that now." James's voice was frozen and threatening.

Remus quickly intervened, "I'm sorry, Siri, but it's wrong to do such a thing on Lily, she could be injured."

"It was fine on Snivvie, right, Moony? What changed?"

Remus looked down. The blame filled every fiber of his body.

James shot Sirius deadly.

"I do not care." Declared Sirius. "Don't you want to? I'll do it alone. You've lost all sense of humor and adventure, Prongs. Just because of a stupid girl."

"She's my future wife, stupid! I have to stay on her good side!"

"As it seems now, this plan is absolutely unfounded," Sirius mocked, "or is it what you hope to achieve each morning? A face in your cereal bowl and a slap in the face?"

"Sirius..." Remus shrugged and tried to calm him down.

"Not Remus." Sirius shook him off. "I'm sick of James's takeover, we can hurt Snape because he doesn't like her and Evans mustn't touch because she's his wife. So I have news, Deary, I'm not working on your stupid whims."

The two animagus exchanged hostile glances. "What's that your new obsession with her?" James asked incredulously, "She was my girl from the first year!"

"Obsession?!" Sirius opened his mouth, "Excuse me? I'm absolutely not obsessed with this creature!" He paused for a moment, "But she's not your girl. She never was. So I can do whatever I want!"

In those words, Sirius walked out of the room and slammed the door behind him.

"Did you hear that?" James turned to Remus angrily.

Remus nodded slightly in his head. "But he's right." He said quietly.

Faced with the unbelieving look on his friend's face, he continued. "Lily never agreed to be your girlfriend. She may love someone else..."

"And who exactly? Sirius?!"

Remus squirmed a little, "Maybe."

"Nonsense! It won't happen. He won't do it to me. I put an eye on her since the first time we met."

Remus humbly raised his hands. "I'm just saying it wasn't reciprocal. The girl also has the right to choose, right?"

James stood in the center of the room, thrilled. "But he probably won't do it, it'll break the entire guild of friends between us!"

Remus shook his head, a small spark of stiffness in his eyes. "With love, everyone has their own heart." With that, he left the room.

James was trembling with designers, he couldn't believe his ears! His best friends–!

He grabbed the pillow from his bed and shouted in anger and frustration.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I can't believe myself...  
Any thoughts, opinions?  
Thanks for reading!


	7. Chapter 7

Severin didn't understand what was going on.

Everything has been so complicated since the accident.

She really didn't understand how Lily was doing that. The Gryffindors were unbearable. Much, much more than the slytherins that bothered her.

Seriously. Lily's friends at the dorm were too nice, but also so upsetting and gossipy. Yes, Severin wasn't a typical girl, right, but on second thought, she certainly didn't want to be a girl who would just talk about outside appearance and boys.

Well, to be honest, her mates at the dormitories in Slytherin weren't much better either, but at least they were more closed and never discussed it.

And that was still the good part. She could just ignore them. Also of all the friendly and competitive members of the house who tried to show their courage at any given moment. The older girls offered to help her on several occasions and some boys praised her actions in some of the lessons.

Severin was never used to kindness, and it frightened her. Anyway, she just rolled her eyes and mockery, ignoring everyone.

But what really scared the girl were the marauders. They were just so stressful.

And she has never been able to ignore them. They were a terrible but inseparable part of her life (much to her regret). But as the days progressed, she realized that she would much prefer the previous relationships that existed between them.

Well, maybe she was weird, but she clearly preferred the mutual hatred, than Potter's stupid expressions of love.

He tried to flirt with her, well, with Lily, of course, but it really upset her. He wasn't good enough for her best friend, Lily deserves much better than a stupid bully.

But Potter just didn't stop. He followed her, sent her notes she did not read, Read aloud a love song to her in the common room, and today morning brought her a bouquet of lilies.

That's his fault. She had already shown him in every possible way that she wasn't interested, so if he finished with petals and wet stems clinging to his hair and clothes, it was entirely his fault.

Lupin was uninterrupted. Relatively, of course. He was at least quiet and not making everything public. But his behavior was also disturbing.

The wolf went out of his way to be a gentleman. It was ridiculous.

He smiled to her every time their eyes intersected, he picked up some of the scattered leaves, with a light breeze blowing them off her desk and gallantly he opened the door for her as she entered the potion class today.

And beyond that, he was there every single time Severin went to the library. And that was wrong. Seriously. It was her safe place, why are these boys pursuing her existence?

And as much as she hated to admit it, Black was the only one who behaved normally.

Severin had come to a bleak state, if the cocky guy who had tried to murder her in cold blood just two months earlier was the only normal person she had found in the controversy her life had become.

But Sirius Black was the only one to behave as before. She never thought anyone could hate Lily. But with the amount of defamation and murderous glances that Black has sent to her in recent days, she has doubted her previous conclusions.

But Black has already proven himself to be an overbearing and fierce guy who can consider a murder attempt as a prank.

Though he may have been just angry that all of Potter's attention was on Lily, it would certainly fit his obviously unflattering picture of him that was drawn in Severin's mind.

Severin concluded: Everyone around was just crazy.

She looked gloomily at the dining hall, and she really wished she could return to Slytherin's towering silence.

She turned toward the Gryffindor table and froze.

Only three sits available, it was legitimate for the fact that she followed up with the potion she made and was late for dinner. But why are they? And why didn't these animals sit together?

Potter sat closest, but she certainly didn't mean to sit next to this mucus pool. Noticing her, he gestured to the seat next to him and made Severin suspect that he had intentionally grabbed it for her.

But she passed him, as did on Lupin too, who was sitting in the middle of the table, looking hopefully at her.

It was absurd, but she preferred to sit next to Black. He was the only one whose behavior was familiar, and that satisfied her enough.

Her gaze caught Lily and Regulus at the green table, talking and laughing together. Her eyes narrowed. When did they get so close? Regulus was one of her only friends since Lucius left Hogwarts. But he was a strange boy. In the strangest places he would make a hasty exit, leaving Severin puzzled.

How could Lily approach with him enough to sit like that and laugh together in front of everyone? Just a month ago, she further preached to her how many of her mates in Slytherin were evil and dark. And now it..?

That's it, everyone clearly went crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter? Wha—  
(Don't use to it ^^")
> 
> I will glad to hear your mind!  
Thanks for reading.


	8. Art

I make a new fanart of Sev.

I used [this picture](https://i.pinimg.com/originals/a8/93/bc/a893bcad8198d53d2e58d5b88959b73c.jpg) as a base for the art, so credit to Shugo Chara's creators. 


	9. Chapter 9

The relationship between the three was as tense as a spring.

Sirius was not yet ready to believe Remus's theory that he was felling in love with the stupid redhead.

He? In love with this annoying girl? Not in a million years!

He also bothered to say this, but Remus didn't seem to believe his words. Pfff, as if a smartass. 

"I'm just saying, you might be attracted and just don't interpret it properly." Remus said patiently.

"Or I just hate her, don't you think it makes more sense?"

Remus shook his head, "No. You didn't hate her like that before. Don't you see that? She's changed, and this change catches your attention."

"The negative attention." Grumbled Sirius, "You just said that, I don't like the change that has happen."

"Why?" Remus asked, "What's so bothering you about her?"

Sirius didn't know how to respond. "I don't know!" He raised his hands in the air in melodrama, "She's just unbearable!"

Remus exhaled, "Just... think about it, okay?"

James grumbled from his bed. "Why are you even talking to him? Are you trying to deliberately make him chase Lily?"

He still has not forgive him the words he said the day he was fighting Sirius. It was completely absurd.

Why the hell was Sirius chasing Lily? For years, they knew it was James's goal to win her heart, why would they now intervene and ruin everything?

Friends don't do it!

But here, right in front of his eyes, Remus tries to convince Sirius that he loves Lily. How insensitive! Luckily, Sirius had a head too thick to accept Remus's ideas.

Remus sighed, "James, please... I'm just trying to help Sirius understand his feelings and put his thoughts in order."

"By sending him after my girl?!" Resented James.

"She's not your girl!" Sirius bit at the same time Remus asked dryly, "Would you rather he try to hurt her or pull ugly pranks on her?"

For that, as well, James couldn't find an answer, so he paused, grumbling to himself.

"Good, so to the extent that you both would have liked to continue inflating the insult here, I think I'll go to invite Lily to the ball."

"What?!" The two boys were immediately summoned. Remus raised an eyebrow.

"You can't be serious!" Growled Sirius, "Do you want to say you want this girl?"

"It's not fair!" Howled James.

"On the contrary." Remus replied calmly. "We can't control our hearts, who's to love and who's not. Now we all have equal odds, all we can do is just let the girl decide, don't you agree?"

Both friends shot him daggers in their look, as the door slammed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, that's was a while... and that's super short, I know, sorry... but I finally decide who I want Sev to be with in the end! (Hopefully). Anyway, hope you like.
> 
> Please comment!


End file.
